This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
