That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think I am morally bankrupt
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
