I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
