My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
