Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
