bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
