well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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