I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
