somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
