I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
