Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
