This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
