I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
