there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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