Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
