You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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