but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
