just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
