im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
