At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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