Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
