ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
