I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
