I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
