Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Randomize
