I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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