She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
50% drunk capacity currently
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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