I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
its not stalking. its research.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
