you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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