I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
