She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
