I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
being pregnant is like rehab
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
