What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize