What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
