Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
