so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
