Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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