I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
