I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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