Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
