If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
