if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
