i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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