now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
