Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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