Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
