She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I think your dad took our porno
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
