I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
