I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
