also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
