There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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