Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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