Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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