You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
