Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
