You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
