R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
